Getcha Franks, Getcha Norts

It's almost summer. Chances are you are doing one of three things: 

1. living at your parents house and they are probably going to make you find a job bagging groceries at HEB or something
2. some awesome internship that's going to really give you a leg up on the competition when you are out in the workforce
3. working at an awesome summer camp

If you are in one of the first two groups, I am sorry. You will probably be required to wear either jeans and some ugly read t-shirt or a suit all summer. Perhaps on Saturdays you will have the opportunity to dress like a real college student. However, if you are blessed enough to have the absolute best work uniform (in addition to the ability to be outside with awesome kids and your friends all day doing ridiculous fun things all the time!)

The two camp necessities: Franks and Norts! Perhaps you are unfamiliar with these clothing items? What? Let me educate you with a few short equations:

Frat + Tank = FRANK

Nike + Shorts = NORTS

I have come to realize that both of these phrases are an absolute mouth full, especially with the frequency with which you will be using them. For instance, you are chatting with you roomie at camp after doing laundry and you could say, "Heya Grace, have you seen my pink Nike shorts?" When you two can't find them, Sarah comes in and asks, "What are y'all looking for?" You clearly respond with "My pink Nike shorts." After this goes on with Emily and Christian, you have said Nike shorts so many times to the point where it doesn't even sound like a word anymore. So why not save yourself a few breathes, probably those necessary to beat the boys in dodgeball, and simply respond with NORTS.

The same thing could easily happen with frat tanks. For instance, you exhaustedly walk to breakfast half asleep one morning. You are sitting at the table with your fellow staff members making as much conversation as you can make at 8 in the morning. Suddenly you notice that Daniel across the table has stolen one of the awesome frat tanks that Sarah so kindly designed for the girls. Annoyed, you could say, "Daniel, where'd you get that frat tank? You aren't a girl!" This conversation likely will not end there and you have already said frat tank one too many times. Because of the early hour and the likely cattiness of the conversation you definitely need to start the conversation with the use of FRANK rather than implement it later on.

Though the use of these terms is obvs not required, I suggest their use as both items will likely be referred to on the reg as they are very typical items to be found in a variety of summer situations.

ATTENTION!

I first of all would like to apologize for my excited promotion of the use of Foursquare. I still agree that it's awesome and I love seeing where my friends are, etc. However, I value my personal safety much more than I value participating in the game of Foursquare and for that reason, I have deleted my account. I have read many articles about the dangers of geotagging, and while I think some of them may not apply to me, it's always better to be safe than sorry when it comes to your personal safety and private information. If you are curious as to the dangers, simply google "geotagging dangerous" or "foursquare dangerous" and you will see. This particular article is what freaked me out the most. Again, I am truly sorry if I have led any of you to make a decision you regret.

Club Libs VIP

It's time for finals! This means that we will be in club libs on the reg, perhaps more often than we are in our rooms. I understand that it is absolutely impossible to sit in club libs for hours on end doing hw without taking a few sanity/study breaks. For this reason, I have compiled a list of fun things to do other than hw in the library.

• Perhaps one of the most distracting sections is the children's book area. It's always so fun to reward your star study habits with a fun picture book from your playground days. This may end up being a little too distracting as you will certainly become distracted by thoughts of the "good old days" rather than concentrating on your supply and demand curves and Spanish vocabulary.
• If you remember to bring headphones, there is a world of opportunities for time wasting activities. Netflix On Demand offers a wide range of television shows, movies, and documentaries. Might I suggest you take a break from your statistics homework to watch Colossal Squid/Squid Invasion? (I will warn you however that there are two parts so this may take up more time than you are willing to sacrifice.)
• If you are the more intellectual type (and of course you are, I mean, you're in club libs!) you should definitely exercise your brain with a few Sporcle quizzes. My favorite categories are the baby names and the finish the lyrics questions. I will warn you however, you will probably become temporarily addicted and absolutely unable to transition back to your marketing project.
• This first one depends completely on where you are situated within the library. There are so many choices of where to sit. You have to decide if you want to be social, as in sitting out in the open in and in a heavily trafficked area, or if you want to be absolutely isolated and miserable. If you choose to isolate yourself, you can sit in a window and watch all the happy people outside, eating, chatting, strolling, going to class etc.
• If there is one thing I would not suggest, it is Facebook. The reason is simple- once you start you can't stop and there is absolutely no time constraint on stalking. Chances are you will find yourself still on Facebook three hours later looking at three year old homecoming pictures of your cousin's best friend's little sister.

I hope this list is helpful if you are looking for a distraction, or maybe reading this was a sufficient study break and you are ready to go back to your Chinese Cinema project. Whatever your situation, I absolutely suggest that if you aren't doing anything, you should probs leave club libs because it's beautiful outside and there's nothing more miserable than being in there if you aren't getting your stuff done.

LOTW: 4/24

Lingo of the week: "Lolz"

We all know those people. They use "lol" like they use um or an awkward silence. In fact, next to "k" there is probably no other word that we hate seeing in a text message. For instance, you text your best friend some long story about how you were driving home for the weekend and you looked in the car next to you and it was some random boy that you met at a party and prayed you would never see again and all you get back is the dreaded, "lol." Other people use "lol" like it's a space, comma, or period. They legitimately use it to break up their thoughts like any form of punctuation would do. I know you hate this, I do too, however, the use to "lolz" I will argue is perfectly acceptable.

This may remind you of those people who "t3xt lyk3 th1s" or change their name on Myspace to something like alliiii dayyyy. Whatever it reminds you of, please hear me out. The use of "lolz" adds a funny ironic twist, that is a little acknowledgement of how you could be texting or perhaps how you used to text. However, it also is way less annoying than that overused lol because it does add that humorous aspect. How many people are actually "laughing out loud?" probably none. When you add the z though, the acronym loses its "laughing out loud" meaning and just tells the other person that you think what they are saying is funny. Finally, when you find yourself reading a text message out loud and you come upon the word "lol" there is always a quick internal debate. Do you read it as "L. O. L.?" or do you read it how it sounds, "lawl?" The word lolz must always be read as "lawlz" not only because it rolls off the tongue so well, but also because it's not an acronym. 

Backpack! Backpack! Backpack!

Backpacks. As college students, we see them everyday. Some are big, some small, some on wheels. Some of us have just one; it’s always full of our daily necessities and we take it everywhere. Others of us have more than one, and we switch our stuff depending on what we need and our outfit daily dictates which bag we carry on our back. Finally, some of us simply carry one around, full of almost nothing, simply as a means of looking studious. I firmly believe that you can learn a lot about someone simply by a simple observation of how they like to carry their books. Have you ever thought about what your backpack says about you? 

#1: The Strappy, Adventurous Looking Backpack

This student clearly has a sense of risk and adventure in them. All of the compartments either mean that they are very organized or they use their backpack for hiking on the reg. You can also tell a lot about what they keep in these compartments. The water bottle on the side implies that they love to stay hydrated or had a wild night last night. If they keep their keys and ID card on the side they are clearly rushed people because they want to get places quickly. Also, because this backpack is so intense and large, they are likely to be highly motivated academically as they likely carry all of their books and laptop around on the reg. However, there is also a high chance that this person is a poser, that is, they have an intense backpack so people assume they are intense about academics or athletics. It's important to differentiate which type of person this is on a case by case basis. 

#2: The Traditional Jansport Backpack

This person likely has been using this backpack since the sixth grade. There are a variety of patterns available, so this is probably the girl that trades out her backpack on a day to day basis. Additionally, they probably keep a pencil or two in the front pocket, but because of the size and pattern of this backpack, they likely don't live out of it. This person is trying their hardest to mix fashion and practicality into their college experience. If their backpack is in fact from back in the day, they may also be sentimental and like to look back on the "good old days" of middle school crushes and science fairs.

#3: The Athletic Backpack From A High School Sport

This person may also be sentimental, but not about middle school. They probably played some type of club sport in high school, whether it was volleyball, swimming, or something else. While they were dedicated to athletics and their team back in the day, chances are, they weren't skilled enough to make a college team. Rather than walk around campus appearing unathletic to the random passerby, this person would rather show them that at one point in time they were athletic. This backpack is also similar to the intense strappy backpack as it has many of the same compartmental capabilities. There is a chance that this person chooses to use this backpack also for it's organizational and academic capabilities in addition to its athletic image. 

#4: The Novelty Character/Celebrity Backpack

This person is clearly a child at heart. Academics aren't likely a top priority because it's tiny and can't hold more than a book and a notebook. There is a chance that this backpack was given to the user as a joke, but the fact that the user chooses to use it clearly means that they do in fact love whatever TV show or teenie bopper celebrity's face is on the back. They may also be an attention seeker, otherwise they wouldn't choose to stand out with such a silly, showy back.

#5: The Mini Backpack

This person is clearly more interested in making a statement than pursing academics or conventionality. In the case of the mini backpack, users generally use the backpack as their purse, to carry their keys, wallet, phone, Ipod, pens and pencils, and highlighters. In their arms they carry their notebooks and books etc. Because carrying school work depends on the arm strength of the user, they likely won't carry around a lot of books etc, because those can be heavy. Additionally, they probably aren't very social because in order to carry your books in our arms, there is no place to put your phone other than your backpack when you're on the move. In this case, the user's phone likely isn't blowing up, or they would be dying to have it in their hands. 

#6: The Monogrammed Backpack

Like the Jansport backpack, this is likely a backpack from childhood. Chances are, the user's mother chose it for them in kindergarten or elementary school and had it monogrammed so their young child wouldn't get it confused with other people's backpacks. This backpack is also likely to have sentimental value, because the user probably associates it with their mother, in addition to snack time, read aloud, and playgrounds. Furthermore, the user probably enjoys being seen as unique because they have a one-of-a-kind backpack on their campus. 

#7: The Sidepack

This person probably carries their laptop around with them on the reg because generally these bags are designed specially for computers. Perhaps this user lives off campus and brings their stuff to the library on the reg. This person also is likely to have back or shoulder problems because of the uneven weight distribution caused by the bag. Furthermore, because they definitely have their backpack in the bag, they may have a gaming or facebook addiction because they need their laptop with them at all times. 

#8: The Drawstring Backpack

This backpack implies a complete lack of dedication to one's academic pursuits. These backpacks are almost never purchased, but rather given away to participants in a number of activities, sports, etc. The design and size of the backpack also don't lend themselves well to carrying around books and notebooks. They are likely the student that brings the bear minimum to class as they can't physical carry much and they weren't even serious enough to purchase a backpack when preparing for college.

#10: The Jon Hart/Vera Bradley Backpack

Self explanatory...

Note: This is not meant as a dig at anyone. It's simply my take on the use of backpacks. I for one use two Jansport backpacks and one ex-athlete volleyball backpack for my academic and athletic pursuits.

LOTW 4/17

This week's lingo: "On the reg"

First of all, I am aware that on the reg is similar to the use of typical, however, there are important differences and uses of this particular phrase as opposed to typical which makes it acceptable as the LOTW. On the reg is derived from the phrase "on a regular basis." If on the reg is too much of a mouthful to fit into your daily conversation, the abbreviation, "OTR" is a perfectly acceptable alternative.

Example: You have given up sweets for Lent, because, quite frankly, you eat them way too much. You are in the dining hall with a friend for a late afternoon snack. While you are walking around aimlessly, your friend asks you why you haven't gotten anything to eat yet. Upset, not because of lent, but because your body is craving sugar, you respond, "I don't know what to eat because I eat afternoon cake on the reg."

Example: You are discussing what you have been up to lately with a good friend. She is complaining about how much homework and other extra curriculars she has and how stressed she is. She asks you what you have been up to. You tell her that in the past two weeks you have watched three and a half seasons of Grey's Anatomy on Netflix. Shocked, she asks you how that is even possible as a busy college student. You shrug and respond, "I just watch it on the reg."

Why these work: On the reg implies that this is a daily habit, something as constant as breathing and living. In the cake example, you are walking around like a zombie because you are on sweets withdrawals. While you could say, "I typically eat cake, etc, etc," this phrase establishes the importance of cake, or whatever else you may be referring to, as a part of your daily routine. Furthermore, the Grey's Anatomy example also signifies this phrase's use as an indication of something being a part of your daily routine: you go to class and watch TV, simple. 

Example: You make a new friend. After spending time together in a unique setting, you contact her to let her know how much you enjoyed getting to know her. Perhaps you write on her Facebook wall, or maybe you text her. Regardless of your method of contact, you say, "Hey so-and-so, I had so much fun with you, I expect us to hang out on the reg."

Why it works: Including on the reg in this statement further highlights that you enjoyed spending time with her. If you didn't, you wouldn't want to spend so much time with her, right? When used to refer to your hopes and dreams for the future, this is a very useful phrase because it adds a sense of seriousness and commitment to the situation to which you are referring.

What's In YOURRRRR Pocket?!

For those of us in college, we are certainly aware of who is associated with Greek life. This is often due to the style of these particular individuals. As a rule of thumb, we recognize Greeks as those wearing neon, tanks, fanny packs, hats, croakies, Sperrys, and of course, the pocket tee. Some of us, Greek and GDI included, may hate these looks, while others may love them. However, regardless of how you feel about Greek life, and certainly about Greek style, I believe we can all agree that pocket tees are by far the greatest fashion breakthrough since zippers. I will now provide you with the pros and cons in investing as many pocket tees as possible.

Pros:

• If you are in college you are constantly needing to carry around a few necessary items with you. These may include your phone, your ID, your room key, etc. Wearing the pocket tee ensures that regardless of what pants you choose to wear on the bottom (Nike shorts, for instance), you always have a place to put these things if your hands are full. 
• If you choose to use the pocket tee for your phone you won't miss any text messages that can go unnoticed in your back pocket. This can prevent many serious relationship problems and will ensure that you don't miss out on any fun.
• Again on phones, you will eliminate that constant confusion over where you put your phone when you are driving. You don't want to leave it in your pocket because it will be hard to retrieve when driving and you can't put it in the cup holders because they are holding beverages.
• They can look dressy casual or casual casual depending on how you choose to work it. For instance, when paired with a nice pair of shorts and Sperry boat shoes you are dressed to impress. However, if you work the Nike shorts and Chacos you are just as fashionable as you are comfortable.

Cons:

• None

LOTW 4/10

This week's lingo: "Girlfriend."

I understand that girlfriend usually is the term to describe a girl who is in a relationship, she's someone's girlfriend. However, I also see the word as important when describing a group of girls who are friends, they are girlfriends. There are a number of circumstances when the term girlfriend can easily flow in a conversation that everyone may not be aware of. 

Example: You are in the busy dining hall of a huge university during lunch with some of your friends. In addition to eating and catching up, you love to people watch because you go to a pretty wild school with all kinds of interesting people. One girl in particular is wearing the wildest outfit you have ever seen and chooses to communicate via yelling and making eccentric monkey noises rather than speaking at an acceptable volume with those at her table. Annoyed, you lean to your friends and say, "Girlfriend needs to quiet down."

Why it works: Using the word girlfriend in this circumstance is useful because clearly your friend will understand who you are talking about based on the rest of your exclamation but you are also keeping her anonymous by not coming up with some ridiculous, rude way to describe her. Girlfriend is a term of endearment and from what I have learned about correcting someone's behavior is that it is always nice to compliment them first. 

Example: You are at a friend's house with one of your female friends that has never met the hosting friend. The three of you are chattin it up, conversing about your lives, and getting to know each other. You have an interesting fact to share with your hosting friend about your other friend, and since you have already referred to her as her name and her multiple times, you switch it up by saying, "Girlfriend has three dogs and a cat."

Why it works: You have already used your friend's name and her multiple times so it's a good use of diction to switch it up by adding new words to the conversation. No one enjoys an unintelligent person who repeats the same word over and over when there are tons of appropriate synonyms. So vary your diction by inserting the word girlfriend every once in a while. 

Love ya, Roomes!

In light of an upcoming semester, and those inevitable new roommate situations that come along with new dorms and apartments, I thought I would share the knowledge I've gleaned over these past four semesters and summer. I hope that by reading this entry everyones' uneasy feelings, questions, and overall awkwardness will simply vanish and be replaced by excitement and love for the person with whom you share a room. So without further ado...

• It's vital that you wear pants at all times. If you are a normal person who likes to lounge in comfort, this will be against your human nature, however, it's in your best interest. For instance, you never know when your roommate is going to bring over his or her entire family unannounced while you are laying pantless in bed. If you were wearing pants, you would naturally be able to get out of bed and converse, thus diminishing the "laziest-person-ever" image that you are portraying effortlessly.
• Communication is key, especially when it comes to decorating. For instance, if you come up with the absolutely brilliant idea to hang an elephant mural on the entire wall that y'all have agreed is yours to decorate, you may want to ask first. Without this simple conversation, you run the risk of your roommate putting up some liberal homemade hippy poster as a counteract.
• If you have a celebrity crush, preferably Justin Bieber, or some other small precious tween celeb, it's important for y'all's relationship to plaster your room with his posters etc. Placing one in the bathroom is absolutely vital, it will freak your visitors out and give y'all something to laugh about. 
• When going out on the town, aka cheap places like Freebirds and Orange Cup, it's important that between the two of you the manager, or another full time employee has a crush on at least one of you. This will guarantee free chips and queso with your meal or maybe some extra strawberries and yogurt chips on your froyo. Though those around you may come to the conclusion that y'all are actually dating these employees, you and your roommate know the truth and that will be something special y'all can laugh and joke about forever.
• It's always nice to know when to expect your roommate back if you are chillin' in the room by yourself. A good way to do this is if you and your roommate post your daily schedules somewhere like the door, so if one of y'all is curious as to the other's whereabouts, you can simply look at the schedule rather than run the risk of texting them and embarrassing them when their phone goes off in class. When y'all are both in the room and you are about the leave your roommate may ask, "where are you going?" Of course, you are thinking "class, the same place I've been going at this exact time for the past three months." But rather than make a snarky comment, you can simply say "check the schedule." 
• If this paper schedule just isn't meeting your needs, you should both invest in Foursquare, a free Iphone application. In this case, your phone will be constantly bombarded with the location of your roommate to the point where you may feel like a stalker or a cop, but at least you will know where they are, when they might be back, etc. 

I hope these few pieces of advice help you in your transition from room to room, roommate to roommate. 

LOTW 4/3

This week's lingo: "If there's one thing I love..."

Example: You are spending your weekend at your summer camp. The camp has just hired a new chef, no not a new cook, a chef. For lunch, he serves, among other things, sweet potato fries and chocolate cake. You run to the line, get your plate piled high, and begin devouring these delicious dishes. With your mouth half full, you look up at your girlfriends and proudly declare, "If there's one thing I love, it's sweet potato fries and chocolate cake!"

Why it works: Though you may believe that you sound stupid for saying the one thing you love is really two things, placing this importance, the importance of being the number one thing in your life, is perhaps the best way to describe to others just how much you love these foods. In short, this phrase is absolutely perfect when attempting to express the value something has in your life, no matter how many things you describe.

Example: You are chillin' with your guy friends, using your typical lingo and they are making fun of you like they do on the reg. Annoyed beyond belief, you sassily say, "If there is one thing I love, it's when you make fun of me."

Why it works: This sassy comment will really catch any bully off guard. They will immediately shift all of their attention from coming up with their typical jerky comments to internally debating whether or not you are serious. This immediately shifts the entire focus of the conversation and makes your perpetrator look dumb.