I realize that this helpful guide may be more useful to some of you than others, but I am writing it for two reasons. First, I want to provide those who may be entering college soon with some friendly advice. Second, those of us who are already in college or graduated can both use this guide to identify the persons to whom it applies and perhaps steer them in the right direction. So without further ado, this is a comprehensive guide to identifying freshman (or "first years") on college campuses everywhere.
1. They without a doubt will have their room key/student identification card with them at all times. And by all times, I mean that not only will they have it with them every second of every day, but they will have these essentials readily available all the time. This can come in a variety of looks. First, they might have a lanyard around their neck with their room key attached, as if their mommy is worried they are going to forget where it's sitting in their backpack and will get locked out of their house after getting off the school bus from a busy day in the fifth grade. Even better, they may have their student ID card connected to this lanyard so both of these essentials are instantly available. If you don't have an classes with freshman and aren't quite sure what I am talking about, please notice them remove their necklace to pay for their pizza and coke in the dining hall at your next meal. If they don't have these super cute lanyards, they likely use an awkward ID holder wallet-esque thing provided by the school. You can spot a freshman easily if they use one of these for two reasons: 1. they are super ugly and no one in their right mind would carry them around 2. they are super cheap and only a freshman's would still be in good enough shape to use.
2. They are obsessed with their laptops more than a normal person should be. This is probably because they just got it, so they are still especially excited to take silly pictures with their friends using photo booth, etc. At least in my own experiences, the majority of those who bring their laptops to class are first years, because they don't realize that yes, paying attention in class is actually a good idea. Furthermore, when they do bring their laptops to class, they will likely open it up and you will creep over their shoulder and notice that their wallpaper is a really precious picture of them kissing their boyfriend before from, yes, this picture is obviously a selfie! Only a freshman would think that prom pictures are still special and that kissing pictures are a mark of a special, strong relationship.
3. Study habits are also very indicative of freshman. However, there are two types of freshman in this circumstance, so other indicators are necessary in addition to this one (see #s 1 and 2). Freshman are likely way too involved in their school work or frighteningly uninterested. Those who are too involved will bring their textbooks to class on the same day, regularly ask their professors questions about the syllabus, the optional readings, etc. They will probably have no friends, or only be friends with their roommate because of their obligation to do so. The library will become their second home way too early into the semester. The second type of freshman definitely performed well in high school; it's likely that they never studied for a test in their life. They are convinced that passing all of their AP exams signifies that not only are they prepared for the rigor of the university academics, but perhaps even over prepared. After all, they managed to pass a three hour math class, so they must be geniuses, I mean, they brilliance should probably have already earned them a degree. These are the freshmen whom you will never see in the library, have never opened a book, etc. My guess is that 2/30 of them will do remarkably well in their first semester or two, and the rest of them will begin to rethink their cockiness and study habits come second semester.
4. Though their Facebook likely indicates their year in school, some further creeping through their pictures solidifies their grade. Chances are they have been participating in some ridiculous college shenanigans and documenting every second of them on film. By college shenanigans I am not referring to crazy frat parties, but rather, scootering through halls, making intense dorm room forts, creating especially strange music videos, and going to iHop of all places in the middle of the night. If you look at their profile, you will notice at least fourteen friend adds per day in addition to some extra special pictures of their new dorm room and a lot of boring wall conversations with their sweet little high school friends.
5. They will likely wear university gear on an extremely frequent basis. I understand that most college students have an obscene amount of t-shirts from their school; however, freshmen likely only have t-shirts purchased from the university bookstore, for which they paid at least $20, or rather their parents did when they chose to attend the particular school. Your average upperclassmen might regularly wear the college clothes, however, these t-shirts will be more specialized and indicative of a certain game they attended or activity or club they participated in.
While there are many other ways to signal one's freshman status, these are the biggest red flags I have come across in my years. So, high schoolers, please remember this, for your own sake, when you make that big transition to a new campus.
