Finally, A Place to Study for Finals

So you are sick of the library? You are tired of trying to decipher who around you is being discussed on likealittle.com, or rather who is doing the discussing? The tension of your peers is just making you more stressed out? Well do not fear, because your school's library is not the only place for you to study, and I would argue that it isn't the best place to study either. If you have a car, or perhaps another friend who is suffering as you are, make your way to your local Barnes and Noble location. Barnes and Noble is a wonderful store, providing books, music, and coffee for all sorts of people with every interest. Throughout the store, they have chairs and tables for their customers' lounging and studying pleasure. Additionally, they have a wonderful walled off section near the back referred to as "Barnes and Noble, Jr." This is a quaint little area full of colorful children's books and games and puzzles and stuffed animals. Because the section is for kids, the furniture in the section is of course, built for kids. However, if you don't mind sitting on a bench at a very low table, I definitely suggest you make your way over to B&N Jr. when studying for your most important tests. Nothing will distract you less than small children hiding behind poles making faces at you, dolphin stuffed animals and of course, screaming babies. Additionally, you don't need to worry because there aren't any outlets so there is no chance that your laptop will die when you're typing your term paper or working on a fifteen page study guide. So next time you are struggs in club lib I definitely suggest this alternative location.

Workin' Out

So you're a member of a gym eh? In other words, you have a handy little keychain with the logo of the health club of your choosing that you either swipe on a daily basis or hasn't been swiped since you signed up for it. From my experiences at a number of different fitness centers, I have found that there are a few facts that hold true no matter where you choose to work out.

1. Gyms are a fantastic place to check out "fashion"

There are a few different types of dressers at every workout facility. First there are the girls that clearly put more effort into planning their work out outfit than actually working out. Their clothes usually consist of Nike Shorts, v neck t-shirts, some fancy type of running shoes, and a lopsided pony tail, perhaps with a ribbon. However, depending on what part of the country you are in, you may find a different breed of these girls. These are the ones that want to trick you into thinking that you borrowed their boyfriend's cutoff t-shirt, however, these t-shirts are clearly size small, as they are tight fitting on the miniature girls that wear them. This is almost pathetic as this breed buys t-shirts that resemble those that a boy would wear in their size simply so they can cut off the sleeves. They then match the t-shirt to Soffe shorts, a sports bra, shoes, and bow of their liking. Additionally, we have the older men who are just way too into stripes, whether it be clear in their orange striped Whataburger pants or their black and white striped wrestling leotard, yes, I have observed both of these men. 

2. Gyms are a wonderful place to... text?

Yes, if only their parents knew that they were shelling out the big bucks each month so that their fourteen year old daughters could wear ridiculous athletic gear to sit around a gym and text their boyfriend of the week, I am sure that the number of health club memberships would go way down. Additionally, I am confused as to how anyone believes that you can adequately work out on the elliptical or treadmill with their fingers going a mile a minute. If you plan on going to the gym to work out your thumbs, save your money, text at home, and let the people that care about working out their bodies use the machines. 

3. It's important to read the stickers slash observe the pictures on the machines

This is vital for two reasons. The first is because if you use a machine incorrectly you run the risk of causing permanent damage to your body, thus immediately ending any dreams of ever working out again. The second is becoming that person that the people who know what they are doing at the gym go home and laugh about. These diagrams provide very idiot proof instructions for your workout experience for a reason, because the equipment company cares about your reputation. 

4. Most of the people who work out at health clubs live in homes without bathrooms

I realized this after discovering that most people spend half of their time at the gym in the locker room following their "workout" showering, dressing, drying, straightening, or curling their hair, putting on makeup, and staring at themselves in the mirror. This phenomenon leads me to believe that they funnel all of their funds into paying for their gym membership and come up short on maintaining a private bathroom because honestly who would rather do all of these private things in public?

The Veronica In You

Yes I know that this is my second posting about Veronica Mars. However Veronica has a lot to teach us and she is therefore worthy of yet another entry. Perhaps the most important lesson we can learn from this show is the importance of critical thinking and deductive reasoning. When we lose something or something turns out other than it should, do we take it for just happening, or do we examine why it may have turned out that way. For example, you are at a Christmas party and your best friend looks down at her Vera Bradley clutch only to realize that her beloved Justin Bieber keychain that her sorority sister gave her as a gift is suddenly gone. So do you just accept the fact that she will never be able to stare at that adorable little baby face again, or does the "Veronica in you" come out to figure out exactly what happened. This may include spreading out around the party to ask people if they have seen it, doing a stakeout of some nature, retracting your steps, etc. While this seems like a rather minor case, with practice the Veronica in you may eventually be capable of solving murders etc rather than just who stole my homework and is my boyfriend cheating on me.

Oh PV!

Are you a fan of Heidi Klum and her Bravo hit TV show Project Runway? Well I hope that what follows does not offend you. I will let you know that I am a fan of this show too and for many seasons I watched every episode religiously. It is this love that inspired the latest slang literally spoken by everyone I know. The phrase you might ask? "Project Vomway!" Yes I know that you are sitting at your desk, in club libs, on your iPhone, iPad, etc very confused about this phrase's use if you are for some reason out of the loop on this latest vocabulary, but do not worry. Project vomway is short for projectile vomit, yes I know that you are feeling sick to your stomach at the sound of these words, thus the project vomway to disguise the connotations. The following are some contexts in which you may use this delightful phrase:

1. Sarah: "Oh wow, did you see the dress on the mannequin at Saks? "

Karleigh: "Oh you liked that, literally I wanted to project vomway all over it, who would wear that?"

* In this instance, proj vom is used as a means of describing someone's negative reaction to something.

2. Daryl : "I heard you project vomway all over the bathroom last night, rough night?"

Kramer : "Yeah, I'm fine, I think I just ate a bad fajita at that Mexican restaurant."

* In this instance, project vomway is used as a verb to literally describe throwing up

3. Stanley: "Hey Janie, what did you think of that movie?"

Janie: "Proj Vom! That was the grossest movie I've ever seen!"

* In this instance, the phrase is used as an adjective to describe something that's gross or that they simply don't like."

The Cyclist's Cycle

Traditionally young children begin their cycling career on the tricycle. This genius invention consists of pedals, steering, and three wheels, one in front, two in back. The extra wheel allows for extreme balance as a small child is likely incapable of balancing his or herself.

As the child grows up they usually graduate to a bicycle with "training wheels." These training wheels are attached to the bike to assist with balance, however, the primary balance must come from the rider himself. Additionally, the training wheels can be removed once the rider doesn't need them anymore.

Finally, our improving cyclist has graduated to the bike. While different models come with different bells and whistles including hand-breaks, speeds, baskets, racks, etc, the distinguishing feature of the bicycle is that is has only two wheels.

So where is the relevance in the sequence of cycles? Well first, we recognize that each of these cycles has an appropriate age group. It is not appropriate for twenty-somethings to be pedaling around on a tricycle. Now with this in mind, consider yourself a wheel, those around you a wheel, and the actual cycle a relationship. When you are a child, you need your parents for balance, and while you still need them for balance as you grow up, there are instances in your life when you can ride a different cycle. When you start dating even, a parent may sit a few rows back in the movie theater serving as that extra wheel as support. Later on, you graduate to the training wheels and go on the group or double dates before you are old enough to spend alone time with your boyfriend or girlfriend. For some reason though I have recognized a strange phenomenon where taken adults are so desperately wanting to return to that awkward little tricycle. That is they are inviting a poor innocent friend to be that front wheel to their romantic back wheels. A couple also may find two uninterested friends and force them into an awkward training wheel situation. It takes a lot of practice to balance on the bicycle, just as it does in a relationship, but it's definitely meant to be a bicycle and nothing else.