Rollin' Like A Balla

So you are driving around town in your vehicle. Perhaps you drive a red Toyota Yaris or maybe a black Lincoln Navigator. Regardless of your make or model, your car definitely has a personality. While your first few drives around town may feel awkward, like hanging out with someone you've just met or a first date, eventually you and your car become more comfortable with each other. For this reason, it is absolutely vital that you not rush the naming process. In this way, your car is not like your child. If you had a baby and refused to name him or her for a few weeks with the excuse that you were "still getting a feel for their personality" not only would everyone think you were crazy, but you would struggle to fill out the necessary paperwork. Though some may judge you for not immediately naming your wheels, the stronger y'all's relationship, the more fitting the name will be. For example, upon buying a used tan Subaru Legacy with subwoofers, you may not immediately realize it's tendencies to make strange noises or move in the wrong direction. However, with time you will almost definitely realize just how fitting the name "The Bronze Dragon" is for this particular vehicle. From here, a beautiful relationship is certainly born. Unfortunately, there can be a downside to this "get to know you period" in your relationship with your vehicle. That is, outsiders can crash your relationship and name your car without any personal experience weighing on their decisions. For example, you are trying out a yellow Ford Escape, trying to come up with the perfect name to fit her personality and your uninvolved friends immediately see her and name her "The Short Bus," a name she cannot easily avoid. While you may try to tell people her name is something else, chances are her first demeaning name is already permanent. Forunately, there are other things you can do to describe her personality and improve her repuation. The first is to give her a nickname. For example, an appropriate and less degrading nickname for "The Short Bus" may be "Lil' Shawty." Secondly, you can assign your car a fitting theme song based on their personality. For "Lil Shawty" and appropriate song may be Replay by Iyaz or Black and Yellow by Trey Songz. Regardless of what you come up with, it's important that you feel comfortable with the name so that when people ask who is driving you can speak up and say, "We can take _________." Or when you are frustrated in traffic instead of freaking out at your fellow drivers, you and ___________ can commiserate while listening to his or her theme song. Happy Driving!

Thank you Drew Dinkens for the creative title for this particular entry.