ROCK ON TUPD!

Though I have never written anything specific to my college campus, I feel that in this case it would be an injustice not to address a serious issue that has been sweeping my university as of lately. Parking tickets issued by TUPD have been sprinkling cars as if we drove ice cream sundaes. Rather than pursuing dignified police work such as solving crime, righting wrongs, and overall reversing injustices, this group creates them. There are two groups within the system, those that ride their bikes in their blue tops all day with their little clipboards of doom writing up innocent, broke college students who couldn't help but park with one tire two inches over the line because the moron next to them is taking up half of two parking spots. The other group however, sits in the big house they call their "office" all day with the goal of coming up with additional ways to force students into tough parking situations so they can catch 'em. Their most overused way of doing this is by inviting groups from the greater San Antonio area to host events, generally for children, at Laurie auditorium or other venues on campus. The night before these events happen, they send out a mass email to the student body notifying them of "parking difficulties due to the visitors to our campus." However, no student in their right mind would take the time to read these emails as their T-Mail account is already blowing up like their cell phones so they are completely unaware of the parking difficulties. TUPD knows this! The day of the event they station dozens of their minions around the parking lots in question armed with pads and pens ready to right up every student who parks in visitor spots, faculty spots, incorrectly in a student spot, or perhaps makes their own spot in order to simply make it to their class on time. After all, getting a college education is about making room in the parking lot for five year old children to listen to a concert, not about academics. Because students were catching on to this common plan, TUPD created a new event, one under the disguise of Spring Break and Alcohol Safety to bring innocent, starving students to their $20 demise. Hosting a concert and free merchandise give-away in Mabee dining hall during the peak of the dinner hours, they were well aware that students would be in desperate need for parking spots, and quick so they wouldn't miss all of the excitement. They knew the students who couldn't find a parking spot near the dining hall would park on "Mabee Dr." with their hazard lights on, as is the norm. Thus, they posted one of their own in the bushes, stalking the vehicles until enough were out there for the squad to write up at least 20 cars whose drivers were unknowingly enjoying the entertainment put on by the force itself inside. This group claims that "The Mission of the Trinity University Police Department is to work with the highest integrity in partnership with our campus community to enhance quality of life by providing exemplary police service for all in a Proactive, Progressive, and Professional manner." They are correct, they proactively trap students in compromising parking situations while progressively coming up with new ways to do so and finally professionally deny any accusations. Rock On, TUPD, I commend you for exemplifying for the student body what it looks like to live up to your standards!