an english lesson

william shakespeare

john milton

i think as Americans it is important that we are all aware of the origins of our English language. as you may or may not know, mr. william shakespeare holds the record for introducing the most new words into our vocabulary. mr. john milton ranks number two for this honorable title. i bet you are wondering who number three is, right? well i will not take credit for that. however, i feel obligated to educate my fellow americans about some phrases that are important to use when speaking like an educated, professional individual. 

first of all the phrase "what the hector" can be used to replace "what the heck" or that other phrase. i feel that this phrase is important in every situation except if you are near someone named hector, then there is just a lot of explaining that could be avoided by simply using a different phrase. 

the word "struggs" can be used when describing any situation in which someone was struggling to do any given task no matter how difficult or simple. when using this word it is vital to enunciate so it doesn't sound like you are accusing someone of being drugs, etc because you don't want to start any devastating rumor. in addition it is important for clarity reasons that you say "struggs" and not "strug" or someone might assume you are talking about the olympic gymnast kerri strugg. again, you would have some explaining to do.

the word "presh" is important to use when referring to something, cute, adorable, heartmelting, or simply precious. while some boys might be weirded out by your use of this word when referring to them, or anything related to them. it gives anything you are talking about the quality of a cute little puppy dog and is therefore worth every use.

in addition to these vocabulary gems, i recognize that in this day and age, time is certainly of the essence. this is why shortening words is vital to get through the day with enough time to go to class, work, and all of your other randie things. so next time you need something to eat i suggest you go to the kitch if you are at home, or the caf if you are at school. you should probs stick to texting because chatting on the phone def takes far too long. when at a memorable event be sure to take your cam and upload your pictures to your fb using your lap. if this is a stretch for you, i hope you will consider speaking in abbrevs as another solution to lengthy conversations.